joy, pain, aging, life, loss, living, dying

It is my hope to generate some discussion about life in general, and angst in particular. This thing we call life comes with so many surprises and then we become older and sometimes there is pain and angst mixed into the beauty and joy. Let me know your thoughts here, and I would ask that you avoid quoting scripture and instead speak from your heart and personal experience.

21 thoughts on “joy, pain, aging, life, loss, living, dying

  1. It seems that we have a similar mindset, Mike, in regard to the emptiness of scripture when dealing with the reality of life…the hard and really crappy parts of it. I like your heart and mind, as damaged as they might be from living your life…and I commend you for being on this side of it all and being able to look at it and talk/write about it and stil lhave your wits about you. Thank you for sharing as you have.

    You stopped-by my blog today and let me know you were there…and now I know you’re here. I appreciate that. Thank you.

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    • Wow, you said a whole lot here and I so appreciate it. No one before has responded to that particular post and I have wondered if it had any traction at all.
      I will be spending more time with your brilliant blog.
      Thank you.

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      • You are very welcome, Mike. Maybe it’s that I’ve been around the block once or twice myself, have made some very undeniable errors, sustained some losses as a result of those errors, and so wish I could have done things differently, cherished more, forgiven more easily…and on and on it goes. But yes, my blog friend, it has traction…deep stuff.

        And thank you for your nice words about my blog. I will look forward to your company.

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  2. I just got here… just discovered you and happy I have! I really connect with your writing. This post carries the “traction” of studded snow tires and traction chains… life is deep in ice, snow and fierce wind that blinds and chaps… even kills. Somehow on the other side of the storm, for many of us, sunshine looms. At times it simply arrives, and other times we must travel to lay eyes upon it again. Broken, tired and weary, we bask in the sun… for a while.

    I look back thoughtfully, with wisdom and understanding, having experienced life. I feel compassion; I know love as a result. I am scarred, I am maimed. I came here to experience and discover who it is, that I am… I am love.

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    • Did I reply to this yet? You are more than a little interesting. I too am an open book, as you can no doubt tell from what I write.
      By the way, love your about photo.

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  3. I have died once and was resuscitated. I drowned actually off the coast of a small town called Zipolite in Mexico. this was in 1996. Coming back All the colors and the smells just hit me.
    Life is beautiful even at it most painful days, if you want to see it. There is beauty in the little things of life. Run to fast and you miss them.

    Yet, I soon started running again until a car accident definitively put an end to running. Struggling with endless pain I finally reached the conclusion that I am not my body. It is a mere container for my heart and soul. Those are who I am.

    The pain will never go away the doctors say and maybe it is there to remind me not to run, but to enjoy the little things in life.

    I try to visit my grandmother as often as I can. I actively sit and listen to music. And i am no longer afraid of anything apart from something bad happening to people I love.

    Death is the most natural part of life and I do not fear it even if i would like for it to wait a while so that I can experience more love.

    Perfect love!

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    • Great comment and a wonderful and affirming perspective you have. I have long embraced the idea that death is nothing to fear. And like you, I am certainly not ready to go. I wish you well my friend and thank you for your wisdom and feedback.

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  4. I am commenting on a post from the near past but I just arrived at your bog and I am glad I did. Your honestly as many have observed, is quite rare. I am being tossed about by life’s storms and alternate between strength and hibernation, as I ride this wave. I want a place for me and feel forces outside my control are hindering my way. I am way past blame and recrimination but not sure where to find my place without crashing into hearsay and miss information. I will “soldier” on.

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  5. I can tell you are a very sensitive person…I am too! I’ve gone through a lot of “horrible” things in my life…but as Rasta Teacher said above…it is the simple things to cherish and I have gratitude every day for my health and many other things. We choose how we want to feel and I choose happy most of the time! Sending you peace and love…Sherry

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  6. It struck me the other day, as it does from time to time with most people I imagine, that life is a very strange business. I was walking along a street looking at houses and traffic and civilisation in general, wondering what on earth it’s all for. We advance our technology, make progress towards various goals such as travelling more quickly and preventing illnesses with new vaccines, and each of us contributes our very short lifetime to the history of life on earth. We experience a whole gamut of emotions, good and bad, and hope to have a positive effect on those around us, but why is all of this going on at all? Did we create religion to find a purpose for being here or, if there is some supreme being running the show, what’s his/her/its reason for having life on Earth in the first place? I’m baffled by existence itself. I can’t say I’m troubled by it particularly, I accept that I’m a human being and this is what human beings do, but it does all seem quite peculiar and possibly pointless. Having said that, happiness, kindness and joy are all things that make life seem better, so even if I have no idea what I’m doing or why, I might as well be as positive as I can about it. What do you think, Mike?

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    • What I think is that you have managed somehow to echo my sentiments exactly. I am a religious skeptic, not really understanding any of it, and believing that religion in general has not been a great thing for humanity. Yet I allow for the possibility, and why not, it makes as much sense as anything, well maybe not. What kind of angry God might there be to bring so much pain. I think of the 6 million having their humanity ripped from them before they were starved, driven insane, and then shot, bludgeoned, or gassed. And God looked on?
      None of it makes much sense to me to tell you the truth. That is why I subscribe to small things, and go out of my way to be tender with those less fortunate. Still, there is enough beauty around us to bring us to our collective knees. It is a mystery to me, but like you, not one that keeps me awake, as I go about doing the best I can. Great comment Lorna, and the first to really answer, or ask, the very questions I struggle with.
      THANK YOU.

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      • Thank you Mike, you always make me feel I’m contributing something. I agree, it just doesn’t seem to make any sense. Your attitude is exactly what I aim for, to try and make a small positive difference to other people, particularly those who are worse off than me. It’s shocking to think of just how many people that accounts for when I consider basic human rights such as access to clean water, shelter, love and protection. Why do I have these things and so many people don’t? I just don’t know, but I’m very grateful for what I’ve got and I think it comes with some responsibility to share what I have with people who need it. Sometimes all someone wants from you is a listening ear and a bit of compassion, and if we can give that then that counts for something, even if we can’t end famine and war. As you say, subscribe to small things and appreciate beauty. I think that’s a pretty good motto to live by.

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  7. Dearest Mike,

    I truly feel I could write a book in this section of your blog. I am so overcome with emotions as I read this part of you. Your honesty, sensitivity and emotions you share have brought forth something in me that few people can. We share several viewpoints and I feel much of your mistrust, both in and of life, and your feelings of being burned out at times. And while it appears we are, or nearly, 20 odd years apart in age, my soul has always felt much older. I started experiencing death of the ones I love at an early age and started asking why. My answers never came. I lost both my parents when they were your age and it turned my world upside down. They both suffered greatly and left me asking why then, as well. No answers. So I subscribe to your karma vs. religion. There are many life experiences that have brought me to this point in life, and as I read each and every one of your posts in this section, I could feel all of your emotions come forth. I could feel everything that brought you to where you are in your life. I felt as if I were two steps behind you, watching your life unfold. You’re a superb writer, Mike. When I came here, I surely did not expect to find deep meaning into life and such tremendous life experience. It was an unexpected and pleasant surprise. I look forward to many more posts from you. Thank you for sharing so much of you. Not many men are so forthcoming.

    P.S. You and your wife, like my parents were, are two very lucky people. I wish you many more happy years together! Oh, your son is one lucky fella too!

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    • Tina, every now and then I get a comment like this one which is so affirming and tender and generous and soulful. I pay a price for my point of view in the number of people I can not connect with and who don’t ‘get’ me. So its really cool when I find someone who does. Thanks for this wonderful and validating comment. Makes my day and touches me deeply.

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      • My pleasure, Mike. I truly understand the lack of connection with some. Been there, done that, and it’s tough when we’re not understood. There’s always a price to pay for any point of view if it doesn’t conform to what people expect to be of the “normal”, and I use that word loosely. But I’ll let them think their way and I’ll think mine… and I will connect with the like-minded, for those are the souls that we touch and are touched by. After all, that’s the important part in life. So yes, it’s very cool when someone “gets” us! Words can hardly describe. Have a wonderful night.

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